A Game Dev Shares His History of Impostor Syndrome

Photo by Braydon Anderson on Unsplash

Impostor syndrome can file away at our accomplishments, inserting doubt where we should see success. Over on Medium, game developer Stuart Lilford digs deep into his career history to explore the many ways impostor syndrome has been part of his life.

(If you’re caught by the paywall, the article can also be read on Gamasutra.)

So I *did* have an imaginary friend, but he appeared in my life when I was a bit older (around the age of 14) and is still around now. However, he was less of an imaginary friend and more of an imaginary asshole. His name is Jason.

Jason is an asshole because he’s one of those people that are always putting you down. Whenever I decide to try and make something creatively, Jason pops up to question why I’m even bothering. Whenever I put something I’ve created online, be it a game or some artwork, Jason will arrive to suggest that I shouldn’t have done it and that I look like an idiot. Whenever I receive some praise or recognition for something I’ve done, he’ll be there to tell me that I’m a fraud, I don’t deserve the recognition. I’m not as good as other people doing the same thing as me. The person praising me has made a mistake.

Jason appears all the time, but there are a number of occasions when he’s had a really negative impact on my mental state. Here are some of the main examples of when Jason has appeared in my life.

Lilford’s story is a personal one, and he has a lot of insight to share. Continue over to Medium for more.

Dr. B has also talked about impostor syndrome in an article for Geek & Sundry, so check it out if you’d like the perspective of a mental health professional.

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