Coping During Stressful Times

Surely you’re worth more care than a pair of shoes. 

It’s May of 2025, and we continue to live in unprecedented, unrelenting times. Many people are feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin. Coping with chronic (long-term) stressors requires a somewhat different set of skills from dealing with acute (short-term) stressors. If you’re feeling burnt out and overwhelmed you’re not alone! It’s been well documented that chronic stress is bad for our communities, our health, and our productivity. For some of us, stressors around safety, health, finances, and well-being may be newer, while for others, especially those part of historically marginalized groups, these newer or increased stressors are further compounding those already existing from systemic discrimination. 

We’ve pulled together this brief guide to provide some validation as well as actionable steps you can take to support yourself and your community. 

Note on positioning: Elizabeth is a white, nonbinary psychologist with ADHD and a chronic illness. This guide comes from their perspective and was reviewed by members of the Take This Community Review Board. We’ve linked to additional resources from other perspectives, and we encourage people to identify what parts of this advice may be relevant, as well as seek further resources specific to their needs. 

Be Honest with Yourself About How Much Stress You’re Handling 

Even professional runners don’t run marathons every day. Some days are for rest. Some for shorter runs or hill repeats. Some are for cross training. Take a look at your current schedule, energy levels, and other financial, health, or social constraints. It’s important to gauge your current bandwidth, and not get stuck on what you wish you could do. 

Once you have a realistic idea of your capacity, you can use that to figure out what actions are consistent with your values and your capacity. If your current capacity is not where you’d like it to be, you can likely still engage in some values-consistent actions, and plan for the future. For example, if a values-consistent behavior is to call your representatives but speaking on the phone is too overwhelming, you could start with sending a fax, or calling after-hours and leaving a message. Values are like cardinal directions, and goals are like cities – values orient you to the direction you need to go to achieve your goals. 

Your capacity will change over time – coming back to reassess regularly is important. One of the ways we can support our capacity is by supporting ourselves, and engaging in some system maintenance. 

Find Your Values and Stay True to Them

According to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), taking action that’s consistent with personal values can be helpful in reducing suffering. In other words, our environment can be overwhelming and scary, but when we take actions that are consistent with values we hold – when we act like the kind of person we want to be – we tend to feel less distressed (even if we didn’t change the situation). 

You may already have an idea of your values, or you can try using something like a values card sort exercise to identify your top 4-6 values. When identifying your values, consider yourself, not what a parent, boss, or friend might want for you (Note: Just because a value might not fall into your top five, doesn’t mean you can’t uphold it- you can be capable of honesty without rating it as one of your top five). 

Here are some examples of values and actions that may be consistent with them: 

Once you know your core values, you can use them to help guide your actions. Pick a core couple of topics or areas to engage with most often. This does not mean that when a new, urgent, horrible event occurs you can’t care about that too, but recognize that your time, energy, and finances are not infinite. 

System Maintenance: Real Self-Care 

You’re likely aware that self-care is not just bubble baths and shopping sprees. It may be helpful to think about this with the concept of system maintenance (big thanks to the tumblr user from 3 years ago who first introduced me to this idea). Think about car maintenance – replacing the oil, checking the tire pressure, filling it up with gas – these are un-glamourous, often inconvenient (and expensive) tasks that need to be done on the car’s schedule (not yours) in order to keep your car running. Failure to do so results in expensive repairs and untimely breakdowns. 

Similarly, keeping 500 tabs open on your browser and never shutting down your computer will lead to laggy performance. Heck, you’re supposed to let your running shoes rest for 24 to 48 hours after a long run to let the foam decompress to extend the life and utility of your shoes. 

Surely you’re worth more care than a pair of shoes. 

Humans aren’t machines, but we do need some of the same maintenance to function – rest, fuel, tune-ups, and the occasional repair. Which areas of system maintenance have been lacking in your life causing you to employ risky “cost cutting measures?” 

Sleep, exercise, social connection, rest, and nutrition are the big categories that often need our attention. These things are the foundation for well-being but often the first to be put on the back burner when dealing with stress.

When you have an idea of your values, your capacity, and the system maintenance you need to keep going, it’s time to make a plan:

If you get stuck, talking to a friend, family member, or therapist can be helpful to break down bigger tasks or identify roadblocks getting in your way. 

Final Thoughts

Surviving and functioning in stressful times requires compassion toward yourself. You don’t need to do everything. You can’t do everything. Sustainability — of action, attention, and emotion — matters more than intensity.